The Lost Art of Conversation
Slowing Down and Reconnecting
Dear reader,
As some of you may know, I have been recovering from knee replacement surgery, which means that I was home-bound and unable to drive for two weeks. I arranged for several friends to visit during that time, which turned out to be an interesting experiment, along with being rich and nourishing.
I noticed a few things coming up for me:
Guilt that my friends were taking so much time out of their busy lives to spend time with me.
Worry and concern that they might be bored!
Difficulty allowing them to help me, even with simple things.
One of my friends was reminiscing about how she remembers her grandmother sitting in her rocking chair on the front porch, and neighbors just dropping by, spending several hours “chatting.” This is a Norman Rockwell image of times past.In the busy-ness and faster pace of our lives, we have lost the art of conversation. I feel like I experienced some of this over those two weeks.
The lost art of conversation
It’s been lovely and fun, getting to know my friends, better. We told stories of our lives, sometimes allowing space for silence and simply looking out my big front windows or sitting on my deck, taking in beauty of the day. I live in a beautiful place, and I rarely find the time to just sit and take in the nourishment of the late-day, autumn sun or the clouds rolling in over the mountains.From a more clinical perspective, I’ve noticed my sympathetic nervous system arousal, the fight-or-flight response, activated with the guilt, worry and concern. As the conversations have unfolded, my friends have voluntarily stayed for several hours, and my “social engagement” nervous system kicked in with feeling more at ease, my breath deepened, my body relaxed, and my mind quieted. I was more able to take in the nourishment that the presence my friends were giving me, and well as the conversations. The end result has been a feeling of deeper connection and intimacy.
What can we do to improve?
As I am now gearing up to re-engage in my normally full calendar of work and life, I am desiring to be more mindful of how I re-enter, and also the importance of taking the time to slow down and really connect. I don’t want to forget how valuable this down-time has been. I would encourage you to consider what gets in the way of the lost art of conversation for you? What gets in the way of truly connecting, of slowing down enough to listen and take in nourishment? How much time do you spend on social media? On the computer? Staying “busy” with your favorite distractions? Leave a comment below and share your thoughts!
As we become more divided by the political climate and turbulence of our world, more and more we need to find ways to come together, to take the time to slow down and listen to each other.
Do you agree?
Wishing you peace and nourishment,
Linda
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